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access_time August 1, 2015 at 10:30 AM in Features by Maggie Wiland

My Name Is Maggie, And I’m An Addict (Part 1)


I moved a number of months ago.

I was only able to bring 2 suitcases with me, and my Wii was the only one I could fit in to travel with. I didn’t even bring my DS which was the real stupid move, ’cause that thing’s handheld. So after piling clothes, my wii, some books, a few dvds, my dog, a korean child worker and the remains of my victims into my suitcases, I was on my way and my Xbox 360-my main gaming system-was stuck back in California in a storage container with the rest of my earthly belongings (and some not so earthly ones. Why oh why didn’t I bring the Necronomicon?!)

So now I find myself in a predicament…I have no main gaming system. Oh don’t get me wrong, the Wii’s a great substitute, in the same way that if you can’t seem to contract Malaria to die from then Smallpox will do in a pinch, but it’s not what I have most of my games for and it’s not what I’ve spent most of my time in. I’m running a decent enough laptop, I COULD use Steam…if I could afford to purchase an entire new game library. I’ve discovered since leaving behind my 360 that I’m going through withdrawals, and it’s not very fun. I’ve found myself turning to emulation software for older consoles, and even DOSbox.

000 So I’ve had to spend time in this place called ‘outdoors’. Now, I don’t know if you guys are aware of this, and if not I hope this revelation doesn’t shock you, but…did you know there’s like, stuff, outside your bedrooms? Cause I sure didn’t. Nobody told me anything. Nobody notified me via e-mail or text message or carrier pigeon or anything. Nobody skywrote in the air to inform me, nobody sent me a telegram, nothin’. So I don’t know how long this place has been there, but I’ve been having to live in it instead of my gaming world, and I really miss gaming. Now the first thing I’ve noticed about this ‘outdoors’ is that the graphic resolution is just plain awful, the soundcard is shot and the NPC’s are completely useless, so don’t even bother trying to communicate with them. I’ve been gaming my entire life. Ever since I was a little girl I would go to arcades and we had a few home systems, so it’s not like this gaming habit is something I picked up in college or anything, like, “I don’t wanna be a full time gamer, I just wanna play some at parties”. So, what I’ve found has been helping me is the Level Up Program, which bears some resemblance to the 12 Step Program that AA uses. The steps are as follows:

  1. We admit we were powerless over consoles-that our lives and our inventory slots had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than our consoles could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of reality and not medpacks.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, and our real life responsibilities, not our in game checkpoints.
  5. Admitted to Nintendo, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, like the fact that we actually played Sonic 2006.
  6. Were entirely ready to have Microsoft remove all these defects from our character creators.
  7. Humbly asked Sony to remove our shortcomings and bad perks.
  8. Made a list of all NPC’s we harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such NPC’s wherever possible, except when to do so would injure more and help us level up.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory but only in stealth mode, and when we were wrong, don’t pay the bounty.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Valve as we understood them, praying only for knowledge of their will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other gaming addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

So what does an addict do when they can’t get their regular fix? They move on to a substitute, like I mentioned earlier, with emulation software. Get ready, ’cause this morality tale isn’t even started yet.

Addiction isn’t really a joke. If you think you or a loved one might be in danger of becoming an addict or already are one, please seek help as soon as possible. You can find out more about this topic here.

blahMaggie Rose is a 26 y/o transgirl. She currently lives with her girlfriend and their dog. Together they fight crime, put an end to injustice and sometimes do laundry. She is a writer because she has no other skills or applicable talents useable for monetary gain. She’s about to publish her first novel, “You Ruined Everything”, in 2015-2016.




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