This past week, I was able to download “Tales From Space: Mutant Blobs Attack!!!” or, as it’s also known, “Our title is too fucking long”. I actually was very interested in this game because this sort of thing is right up my alley. Being a girl who grew up playing side scrolling puzzle platformers, I was immediately interested, plus the way it looked was adorable visually, and who doesn’t love mutant blobs from space, am I right? Everyone does! They’re a god damn national treasure if you ask me. I downloaded it (thank you this website for the code!) and loaded it up.

My first right off the bat impression-and I feel while it’s not true now was justified then simply by the premise-was, “This is a side scrolling version of The Maw”. In reality, that statement only holds true because, hey, they’re both blobs from space who eat stuff and get bigger. It’s like comparing Gilligans Island to LOST simply because they both happen to be set on a tropical island. I actually couldn’t be further from the truth with that original statement because as it turns out, The Maw was a pretty likable little guy who just happened to be very hungry. This blob is just a dick who wants to overthrow humanity. Granted, humanity may have captured his people and experimented on his race, but come on, let bygones be bygones, right? You don’t see the Indians complaining about anything. On a side note, I’ve hit my ironic quota for the day!

The game plays EXTREMELY well. Which is especially nice given how many things they implement into the gameplay. I mean everything is used, the rt/lt, the rb/lb, and everything else imaginable but it works. It doesn’t feel crowded or like you have too many things to remember. It just makes sense. I will admit at times I get things mixed up (for example, one of the triggers attracts you to metal, the other repels you and even writing this right now I can’t remember which one is which nor can I be bothered to simply look it up online ’cause I’m a rebel, yo) and substitute one for the other but keep in mind, I’m an idiot, so this probably won’t happen to you. Actually my only other problem was the times when you had to fly. Those controls definitely left something to be desired. The visual design is great too, very simple, very cute, very colorful. You definitely feel like you’re playing something that someone artistically spent a lot of time on and not just threw a coat of grey and brown paint all over. It’s got a lot of good humor to it, but the story is…whatever. I mean, it’s hard to put a story in a game like this that’s “engaging” and “character driven” and “buzzwords” so don’t expect it to be on par with anything truly outstanding story wise like Mass Effect or Space Island Unicorn Adventure. That isn’t a game to my knowledge, but I’d play the fuck out of it if it were.

All in all, it’s totally worth its price tag and the time it takes to complete it, which is the length of a generic arcade puzzle/platformer I feel. It’s a pretty perfect size. That’s what she said. I AM ON FIRE TONIGHT. I definitely recommend it, especially if you liked these kind of games as a kid, or if you just want something that’s different from everything else right now. Something that’s not super in depth and you have to pay close attention to every little detail. Something to just play and relax with.

And I for one welcome our new mutant space blob overlords, and adhere to their rules. All hail blobs.

Maggie Wiland is a 24 y/o transgirl. She wanted to slay space dragons while riding go karts for a living, but has now been resigned to bitching about video games after realizing she is ultimately talentless in every other aspect of her life. She’s also been said to make a mean casserole. Follow her on twitter and writes poetry on tumblr.