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Games That Should Exist: Oregon Bloodtrail

by on April 26, 2014
 

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This will be a new feature for me where I make up games that should exist.

In my last article I mentioned a made up game entitled “Oregon Bloodtrail”.

I’ve noticed I’ve done this a number of times in my articles-made up games that sound awesome-but this one really is cool. Every other company on planet earth has already bought into the zombie craze, and with The Walking Dead sadly dominating the airwaves with it’s braindead viewers tuning in in droves, the zombie craze ain’t goin’ away anytime soon. I mean, what zombie titles do we have on the market? Just off the top of my head;

  • Lollipop Chainsaw
  • Left 4 Dead 1 & 2
  • Dead Rising 1/2/3
  • Dead Island & Riptide
  • COD: Zombies
  • The Walking Dead (which was better than every season)
  • Every Resident Evil Ever
  • Day Z Mod
  • Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare
  • Dead Space 1/2/3
  • The Last Of Us

Even Minecraft has zombies in it, ok? The amount is overwhelming, and this doesn’t even cover half the Wikipedia page I lifted this from. So, instant success if you put zombies in. No question. AND…you pander to the nostalgia crowd with the 8 bit graphics AND zombies? You got a smash hit home run on your hands, bro. There could even be two versions, the 8 bit throwback or the 3D one that came out in the late 90s. I personally think the 3D one would lend itself better to this game. So let’s break down this game shall we?

oregon-trail-game-4_thumbOregon Bloodtrail would follow essentially the same premise of Oregon Trail, except you’re leaving Oregon because of the virus outbreak and you’re attempting to relocate your family somewhere else. Much like Oregon Trail, you can pick your class of Banker or whatever you want. The hunting in this would be just like that, but it’s you protecting your family at night from oncoming zombie hordes while they sleep safely. Your family members CAN get bitten, turned, or die of other disease, and your food/water can be infected as well, so the zombies are not the only obstacle you will need to overcome.

You will also need to trade with other people in towns, which is tricky as they’re extremely distrustful and maybe you will have to accomplish a sidequest before you can actually gain their trust. Plus some times may be entirely abandoned and death traps, forcing you to fight your way out for survival. This is all just nothing more than a rough outline, ya feel me? Now there obviously can’t be an enormous emotional storyline tied to this as it’s FUCKIN’ OREGON TRAIL and there’s nothing emotional about Oregon, trust me, I lived there for almost a year. But it could be a great little Steam gem maybe, what with the uptick in independent developers on the rise these days, and rightfully so.

Maybe you could even have customization of your wagon and weapons, just small stuff, to make you a little tougher and more well prepared. Besides let’s compare this to the original Oregon Trail. Your accomplishment in this at least is surviving a zombie apocalypse and making it somewhere safe, which is something to celebrate I suppose. Better than the accomplishment in the original. Is that the lamest award for beating a game EVER?

“Congratulations, you’re in OREGON.”

You know, I have severe clinical depression. There’s a lot (most) of days where I don’t get out of bed and I cry the majority of the time. Then I remember that I get paid to make up shit like this, and it makes my life a LITTLE bit better.

EDIT: Ok so I’m stupid and don’t know how to use Google, and thus upon looking for photos for this article, I came across this. Son of a fuckin’ bitch. Normally this would negate my entire article, and I’d just not publish this but fuck, you guys, I need groceries.

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