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The Long Haul

by on April 15, 2014
 

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Hey kids, do you know what time it is!? That’s right UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME! And what a better way to spend this time than at Miss Maggies Mansion of Maliciously Malcontent Opinions & Synonyms! On todays program, Miss Maggie will be discussing how she feels about the length of video games. In the past, I’ve discussed how graphics, story and a lot of other things deemed “crucial” in this gaming age aren’t important to me ONE bit. Welp, today I’m tackling the length of games, another one I don’t care about. In fact, I have an example of how the length of something can make me never want more.

Fallout 3. Fallout 3 and all the DLC combined completely burned me out on the Fallout series. New Vegas-even after it’s flaw riddled corpse was fixed as best as it could be-wasn’t even exciting, simply because Fallout 3 was TOO. DAMN. LONG. Now I’m not complaining because on one hand it’s a good thing that Fallout 3 was so much fun that the hours just whizzed by and I didn’t really notice. However, I have about 8 achievements left to get before 100% and I don’t want to do it simply because I’ve played far too much. People clamor constantly for a Fallout 4 or a Fallout: Revolution or a Fallout 2 Electric Boogaloo. Either way, I’m not one of those people. There IS such a thing as too much content. A little goes a long way. That statement exists for a reason beyond insecure men and their genitalia.

But let’s look at Fallout 3 because it-and games like it-are kind of unique in the whole “length” debate, considering their genre. I mean they’re these incredibly immersive, in depth, lengthy games with meaty DLCS, that cans sometimes tack on another 4 hours or so. Games like that, Skyrim, Oblivion and whatever else…they exist to lengthen your game time. So that’s their purpose, and it’s hard to argue that it’s too long when it’s SUPPOSED to be long. But take a shooter for example, something along the lines of Halo 4 or COD or whatever…these are games that are fast paced, quick moving and meant to whiz by. And yet…people are shocked when a COD game is only 5 hours long or so. Listen, you get about 2 or 3 hours in, and you just start hitting terrible levels and it’s not as fun anymore. We all know the best stuff in the games are at the beginning, that’s WHY they’re at the beginning because if the beginning stuff was dogshit we wouldn’t play to get to the good stuff!

So you take a lengthy game like Fallout 3 and then tack of what, 4 to 5 DLCS? That’s exhaustive man.

I’m not saying longer games are bad. I’m saying games that don’t know what their length should be are bad. A great example of this would be a game that’s pretty fun until it just drags on and you say, “How much LONGER is this?”. There’s movies this way too. Sometimes things just outstay their welcome. At some point, the product should know when to end. And I’ve said-and I’m sure you have too-a dozen times, “Man, this would’ve been great without the last hour or so” or “this just went on like a half hour too long”. Because it happens.

I think this is why I’ve gravitated so much to games like Minecraft (by the way, go check out www.minecraftium.com! I write there too! SHAMELESS PLUG!) or especially mobile titles, like Doodlejump or Fruit Ninja or Oregon Bloodtrail where you’re the last remaining survivor in Oregon trying to escape the state after a zombie outbreak and you have to protect your family. That doesn’t exist yet, but fuck, someone make that, PLEASE. I think I’ve become more into these games because they’re start and finish and in the sense of Minecraft (visit www.minecraftium.com!), save anytime and continue later. Now, you may ask, “But those games are just as bad, they don’t END”. In the sense of Minecraft (check out www.minecraftium.com!), you’d be right because that game really doesn’t have an ending, but the mobile stuff? It ends when you either lose or win. Now Doodlejump I don’t know that you CAN win, but Fruit Ninja has rounds and they end, like old arcade style games.

It’s bite sized entertainment. Call me a casual now, I don’t care anymore, but I have a lot more fun with stuff I don’t have to think about right now than these super in depth titles that I have to pay attention to at every waking second I’m playing. I’m just getting older. It happens. It’s not really a personal thing with Fallout 3. We didn’t have a…*puts on sweet shades* FALLING OUT. HEY OH.

But that’s where I stand I guess. I like putting in the time and effort-if the game deserves it-if a game is really long, but on the whole, time length doesn’t matter to me, and never really has.

And while I’m dissin’ shit, I’m not too fuckin’ fond of Avocados either. Fuck that noise. Bring it, haters.

Like my stuff? Read more at www.minecraftium.com!

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