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access_time April 10, 2014 at 5:34 PM in Culture by Charlie Grammer

“Congratulations,” Comcast, you’ve won the title of Worst Company in America for 2014!

Comcast narrowly beats Monsanto in WCiA 2014.

Comcast narrowly beats Monsanto in WCiA 2014.

Though it was a difficult battle Comcast emerged this year’s “victor” of the Worst Company in America. They had to take on several tough competitors, such as Verizon in the quarterfinals and SeaWorld in the semifinals, but they continued on, believing that they deserved the shiny golden turd trophy more than anybody else in the competition.

In the finals they had to take on Monsanto, who had taken out their share of competitors. First they had to defeat Wells Fargo, only to be waylaid by Citi. They persevered, however, making it to the semifinals, where they were confronted by a company that the employees and consumers hate pretty much equally, Walmart.

Tired and battered from their battles, Monsanto and Comcast stepped into the arena to prove, once and for all (or at least until next year!) which company was the worst. Though Monsanto had chemical warfare on their side, Comcast persevered, and, using the last bit of their strength, managed to beat Monsanto, 51.5% to 48.5%.

So “Congratulations,” Comcast, on winning the Worst Company in America 2014 award! Will they be able to hold onto the title in 2015?


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