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access_time January 16, 2014 at 9:05 PM in Features by Maggie Wiland

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Imagine the following situation.

You go into your local game store and buy the latest title that you’ve waited almost 2 years for. After multiple delays and now rave reviews, it’s in your hands, and you’re as excited as Hitler in disguise at a Bar Mitzvah. Ok that was kind of terrible, but whatever. You take it home and turn on your console of choice, and pop in the game disc. It loads, and you’re shaking. You’re SO excited. Then…the following message pops up:

“Your system is not permitted to run this game. Your graphics card is out of date. Please update your graphics card to play this title.”

A large part of the gaming world deals in console wars, which I’ve written about a few times here and there, but to understand and accept certain things, we have to take a step back and look at them with fresh perspectives. What if gaming consoles were like gaming rigs. I mean, right off the bat, gaming rigs are considered-from what I’ve seen via stereotypical gamerrzzzz online, you know the guys who take COD WAY too fucking seriously or only play Madden-elitist assholes. To an extent, I think PC (and by the way, PC DOES NOT mean Windows or Dell or anything that isn’t a Mac, it means Personal Computer, and guess what Macs and Windows are…PCS. End of story) gaming is kind of ridiculous purely for the example I’ve given you above. The same reason I don’t pay to play WoW. I think it’s absolutely ludicrous to have to constantly update something to play something you already paid 60 dollars for. Insanity. I bought the 360, and I’ve owned 3 in the lifetime of the console, and all that money would’ve simply gone to upgrades on a gaming rig. Either way the money is getting spent, whichever you choose. It’s just how you CHOOSE to spend it that matters. The only time you have to update your console is when it breaks or a new one comes out, so every 10 years now.

Not too shabby.


But like I said, it doesn’t matter because the money goes to one or the other. It’s like trying to cut financial corners by living in a cheaper state. I moved to Oregon a while back because it was cheaper. Turns out the money you save in rent goes to gas and other things. No matter what, your money is going. What you save on upgrades to a gaming rig, you spend on either new consoles when your old one breaks or accessories, or in certain cases, subscription based services like XBL Gold, PS Plus and-PC title sure, but-WoW. Either way, what you play doesn’t matter because you’re going to spend money, BUT it would be rather infuriating and consoles wouldn’t as popular if they too had the upgrades that PCs force upon you. It’s why I haven’t updated my OS for my Macs because I already paid a billion dollars for the computer itself, I don’t want to pay another 50 bucks or whatever for each subsequent upgrade. I just want to own something that when I own it, it fucking works. How hard is that?

And I grew up playing PC games, so I’m not a person who’s only been on the console side. The fact that I have to spend more and more money to upgrade my computer to play games is hands down what keeps me from playing more games. But that’s just me personally.

So go ahead and play what you want on anything you want, but don’t assume one is better than the other. They’re the same in terms of money. And don’t think that if someone plays a PC they’re elitist jerks or that if someone plays a console they’re just a filthy casual.

Now if you’ll excuse me you bunch of hipsters, I have to keep it real and go play my Atari 2600. ‘Cause that’s where the shit’s at.

Like my stuff? Read more at www.minecraftium.com and www.hollywoodisdead.tk!


  • Ramon Aranda January 16, 2014 at 9:41 PM

    Funny piece!

  • ColecoFanboy January 18, 2014 at 1:50 AM

    Atari2600… bah, filthy no-knowing. Colecovision FTW!!!!!!!
    War… [the console] war never changes.

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