Guess what? Something NOT produced by the Apple Overlords was showcased today!

If you, along with the others who are not part of the iPhone cult, are up to your iBalls with hearing the Apple fanboys talk, you’re in luck: Both Tekken Tag Tournament 2 and Double Dragon: Neon were released today, providing pure, unadulterated beat-’em-up goodness.

Since 1994, the Tekken franchise has delivered the King of the Iron Fist Tournament in all its brutal glory, exploring 3D fighting environments and revolutionizing the traditional fighting stick, using only four attack buttons instead of six. Now, eighteen years later, the newest iteration of the Tekken line-up hits shelves for the XBox 360 and PlayStation 3. Tekken Tag Tournament 2 allows for four fighters at once to battle for domination in two-by-two tag matches, one-on-one solo fights, or two-on-one handicap fights. And, with new Pair Play mode, four fighters can fight in one match, each controlling one tag fighter.

Heihachi Mishima, Nina Williams, and yes, even Kuma, all return to grasp for domination; if all the characters, landscapes, and play modes don’t draw you to the game, Tekken Tag Tournament 2 has Snoop Dogg.

Yes, you heard right. The mothaf***in’ D-O-Double G. Snoop Dogg’s exclusive track “Knocc ‘Em Down” can be heard between fights in Tekken Tag Tournament 2.

For those who prefer more traditional whoopings, Double Dragon: Neon is the title to download. Released onto XBox LIVE and the PlayStation Network today, Double Dragon: Neon doesn’t just embrace its ’80s roots, it bathes in them and splashes the ’80s bathwater all over its face like the girl from Flashdance.

Billy and Jimmy Lee are back and in the 21^st century, and so is their shared-interest girlfriend, Marian. But whether it’s 1987 or 2012, she can’t escape peril, this time being kidnapped by a new foe, Skullmageddon. From the mean streets to outer-space, Billy and Jimmy will “bro” the distance to save Marian, but how will they fare after 25 years of inactivity? Will they still be able to handle whip-wielding Linda or the rock-hard Abobo?

Two unique ways released today to beat up people who royally deserve it. iApprove.