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Xbox Fever (August 14)

by on August 14, 2012
 

JDL: Back from playing Megami Tensei II.

Chris: Isn’t that in Japanese only?

JDL: Yeah, but there are some vague walkthroughs and I understand a little bit of what I’m reading.

Chris: Do you really?

JDL: Not really. I just winged it. How mad are you that I’m late.

Chris: Eh, not very mad.

JDL: Really? I’m not going to get chewed out?

Chris: Nah, I kept myself busy playing Ultimate Marvel after Street Fighter X Tekken. I sat here learning how to use Viewtiful Joe and She-Hulk. Hard stuff.

(beat)

JDL: Wow. That’s even rougher than playing a game in a foreign language.

Chris: Not for me. Let’s hit it! I’ve got the perfect story to start with.



Xbox Kinect Can Help You Get The Perfect Pair of Jeans
says: PC World

JDL: Wait, what? You can’t be serious?!

Chris: Absolutely, baby! Now I can find the perfect pair of low-rise jeans.

JDL: I’m going to throw up about something else, be right back.

Chris: While Fatman is doing that, let me tell you guys about a body scanner which uses Kinect technology. A Bloomingdales in Palo Alto, CA is using that technology to hook their customers up with clothes. A Bodymetrics scanner with sixteen sensors scans shoppers and builds a 3D model of their body to find them the most flattering fashion. It’s as simple as walking in front of the sensors, pressing a button, standing still and voila, perfect pants and some fashion advice too.

“Best asset is your small waist so make sure you emphasize it at every opportunity,” was some of the advice given to a model demonstrating the scanner. “Avoid wearing low to mid rise jeans as they will sit low on your waist making your torso look disproportionately longer than the rest of your body.”

Damn, good thing my waist is just right.

This baby calculates some 200-odd measurements and an on-screen catalog finds the right jeans for the customer. It’s perfect, baby!

“The most exciting thing is the product catalog,” said Joanne Hackett, director of business development for Bodymetrics. “You’ll be able to see what jeans here at Bloomingdales fit you perfectly.”

And the best part, the data can be transferred to a Bodymetrics app for the customer to keep, so you can show your friends just how sexy you are.

JDL: Just a quick note, your friends may appreciate you keeping that information to yourself and off Facebook, for THE LOVE OF GOD. I got next.


Marathon Gamer Hospitalized
says: <http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474981528480 target=new>Gather

JDL: A 15-year-old boy from Ohio was hospitalized after collapsing several times from dehydration. The young man was so wrapped up in gaming on Xbox Live that he forgot to eat or drink it seems. The boy’s mom, Jessie Rawlins, said that he turned blue, which was when she knew something was wrong.

Chris: It took her that long to notice something wasn’t right? Now that’s Mother Of The Year material right there.

JDL: “I thought he was going to die. He just fell over three times,” she said. Rawlins won’t be allowing her son won’t to play anymore games after being discharged from the hospital, even he’ll likely game at his friend’s houses anyway. He’s expected to make a full recovery, likely no thanks to his parents.

Chris: Harsh, but true.



New Xbox Coming Sooner Than You Think!
says: PC World

JDL: Microsoft’s job listings have mentioned a lot of crazy things. First there was news of the next-generation Surface PCs and now there’s talk of the new Xbox 720/Durango/Outback/whatever coming within a year and a half.

“Over the next eighteen months Microsoft will release new versions of all of our most significant products including Windows (Client, Server, Phone and Azure), Office and Xbox,” said one Microsoft job listing, before Microsoft wised up and deleted the post from its Careers site.

Details about the Durango/720/callitwhatyouwant aren’t concrete yet. Some say the upcoming console will have a Blu-ray player and will an Internet connection to play any games. Some even say the job listing is in regards to a dashboard update, although that doesn’t explain the redacted job posting.

Chris: However, some claim that the next Xbox won’t have any disc drive at all. Still 18 months from now would allow it to be out to compete with the Wii U and the potential Playstation 4. I don’t if I can wait that long to see what the new Xbox has to offer.

JDL: Got 15 grand? You might be in luck.


Get Your Xbox Durango For — Not Cheap
says: Venture Beat

JDL: Oh, Venture Beat! What up Jay Lopez?

Chris: Who?

JDL: Nevermind. EBay user “superdae” is auctioning off a “Microsoft Xbox Durango Development Kit,” which “comes with powercables and a wired controller.” The auction began a little before August 11th, and bidding surpassed $15,000 fairly quickly.

Chris: I can afford that, no problem!

JDL: Oops, turns out the dev kit has already sold for $20,100.

Chris: Ah, screw that, I’m not tracking down some doof and paying him 20 grand plus extra!


Chris: Where are you going now?

JDL: To play Xbox — with a woman, even.

Chris: Wow, really? They play video games.

JDL: Yeah man, I was shocked too. Be back later.

Chris: Of course.

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