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access_time March 11, 2012 at 11:12 PM in Culture by John De Large

Xbox Fever (Mar. 12th)

Hey whoa there, take a seat before you hurt yourself. Welcome to this weeks Xbox Fever! I’m Christopher Walken and I’ll be your host this week with JDL chiming in as CO-host. After all, I should get top billing instead of playing second banana each week.

Now if we’re good to go, It’s Time For Fever, baby!

Peter Molyneux Leaves Microsoft and Lionhead To Go Into Indie Games And Gain Hipster Cred?

I need more sources!: DMWMedia and Mr. Molyneux’s Twitter

Chris says: This guy over here, this Peter Molyneux character, he started a little company called Lionhead in the late 90’s. If that sounds familiar to you, it’s because they’re responsible for the Fable series. If you were FOOLISH enough to own a gaming PC anytime before 2009, you might also know them from playing the Black and White games. Irregardless! Molyneux and his cohones hop on Twitter and announce that he has left “the lovely amazing Microsoft and Lionhead. Now for something really amazing, scary and brave, a new company called 22 Cans.”

JDL says: Actually Chris, Molyneux is staying with Lionhead until the completion of Fable: The Journey in a month or two.

Also, if you’d have read the rest of the article, you’d have seen that Molyneux had some nice words to share with Kotaku regarding his departure: “It is with mixed emotions that I made the decision to leave Microsoft and Lionhead Studios…. However, I felt the time was right to pursue a new independent venture. I’d like to thank the team at Lionhead, as well as our partners at Microsoft Studios for their support, dedication and incredible work over the years.”

Microsoft themselves also had some nice words for Molyneux in a corporate statement “[Peter] has made an indelible mark on the games industry and we wish him all the best of luck in his future endeavors.”

Chris says: “Future endeavors?” Are we sure he wasn’t fired?

JDL says: Hmm, you may have a point.

The Next Xbox Is Too Cool For Disk Drives!

Showing that work!: 1UP and MCV

Chris says: As the great Hans Landa once said, “I love rumors!” And I love this rumor concerning the next incarnation of the Xbox 360!

MCV, partners in crime with Microsoft, were told that Xbox 360 Part Deux is going to have “some sort of interchangeable solid-state card storage” instead of the crappy disc-based media that we have now! So much for the previous rumor that the 360 II would be using Blu-ray discs! How gouche and grody can you get, baby?

If this is true, that means I only have to buy a game once and then I never have to get put into that tough spot of being that guy who everyone goes to so they can borrow games! Score, baby!

JDL says: Chris, all the Xbox games you play were either paid for by me or my review copies anyway.

Chris says: Bah! Semantics!

JDL says: Well, if this is true, it means that disc read errors will be extinct and everyone can enjoy quicker loading times. On the downside, I have to bring my whole fucking system to my friends’ game and pizza parties instead of just my disc.

Chris says: The next 360 isn’t going to be out for a while! You still think you’re going to be having pizza parties in your thirties?!

JDL says: Not for nothing Chris, but you had a celebrity pizza party in my living room with Twister and a make-your-own Sundae bar while I went out to Judo last week!

Chris says: Hey, you’ve got no right to be mad, I invited you to that party on Facebook and everything!

The Kinect Will Be Used To Pilot Robots

We’re doomed, baby!: The Sacramento Bee

Chris says: That’s it! Skynet is happening!

JDL says: My God, you’re a moron. Let’s take a look what the Sacramento Bee has to say.


Chris, this article says that competitors will be using Kinect Controllers at the FIRST Robotics Competition at the Javits Center in Midtown. During competition, alliance teams can use their Kinect to control a particular motion or movement using gestures making it a Hybrid machine. After the first 15 seconds have elapsed, the robot will need to be contolled manually and the alliance driver helps his team.

Chris says: So the planet will only be jeopardy for 15 seconds at a time?

JDL says: Chris, those robots aren’t even armed! The most dangerous competition robot I can think of is a homemade exoskeleton and all they do is pick up something really, really heavy. And those competitions take place on the other side of the states!

Chris says: Yeah, but they could pick up something heavy, get on a plane, come to New York and drop it on my head.

Pirates Leak Street X Tekken For Free!

Yarr!: Cinema Blend

Chris says: Capcom put all their Street Fighter X Tekken DLC right on the discs (this is for both the 360 and PS3), meaning it’s been mostly ready to go and anything wrong could be easily patched later! While JDL and I don’t see what the big deal is here, a group of pirates got together and leaked the entire Xbox 360 version of the game onto torrent sites! Talk about disproportionate retribution!

JDL says: Character models, endings and prologues were all found on the disc. There’s a video below of Lei, who was supposed to be a DLC character fighting in a “classic,” costume and using a solid moveset.

I still don’t see what the fuss is about. Maybe some people feel like if the content is on the disc it should be non-DLC anyway? I don’t know, sounds greedy to me.

Chris says: Shut up, you! You just want to keep being friends with Capcom!

JDL says: Actually, I see nothing wrong or false about that statement.

Here Comes A New Challenger! The New iPad!
Journalistic integrity!: LFPress and Gamer UK

JDL says: Nice double titles, Chris! Reminds me of Super Sentai episode titling!

Chris says: Quiet, you. Apple’s new iPad is going to feature games from some of EA’s best franchises, namely Dead Space and Mass Effect, baby! But that’s not all, Namco showed off their ace-in-the-hole, Sky Gamblers:

And Epic Games revealed their trump card, Infinity Blade!

With these upgrades, the new iPad is going to be more than enough competition for Microsoft! It’s got a faster processor, the very sexy A5X quad core processor, more memory, what more could you want, JDL?

JDL says: I don’t know, how about a keyboard?

And we are done, baby! I’m going to play some more Twister with Halle Berry and JDL is going to take the computer back to pre-order himself an iPad 3. Ciao, everyone~


  • Ramon Aranda March 12, 2012 at 1:31 AM


  • Andrew Kent March 13, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    fuuuuuuu next gen consoles.

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