The internet is a fickle beast, and, as of late, it has reared its homely visage derisively at EA and, by proxy, Bioware. There are plenty of reasons for this, but none more so than the fact that Mass Effect 3 has steadily been amassing a pile of downloadable content so high that Mount Everest looks like a mere puddle in its shadow. An exact number had yet to be put on the towering column of extra content until today, when the numbers were crunched to reveal a grand total of $870 of paid DLC available on launch day.

You don’t need me to tell you that this is a giant sum of dough. A list detailing each and every incremental purchase follows below.

“Collector’s Edition (needed to obtain all content):

$80 – N7 Collector’s Edition

Pre-order bonuses:

AT-12 Raider – Origin pre-order bonus
Chakram Launcher – Play the Kingdoms of Alamur demo
M-55 Argus – Pre-order bonus for select retailers
N7 Weapons pack – N7 Edition bonus
N7 Hoodie – N7 Edition bonus
N7 Warfare Gear – Pre-order bonus for select retailers
Reckoner Knight Armor – Play the Kingdoms of Alamur demo
Robotic Dog – N7 Edition bonus
Squad Outfit pack – N7 Edition bonus

Auxiliary purchases:

Unannounced price for the iOS game Mass Effect Infiltrator, which can affect the main game.
$10 day one “From Dust” DLC
$44.99 for the Liara figurine – multiplayer unlock DLC
$24.99 for The Art of Mass Effect Universe – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$80 for four Mass Effect 3 toys – “Slightly randomized” multiplayer unlock DLC
$59.99 for the Mass Effect 3 controller – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$209.99 for the Chimera 5.1 Headset – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$34.99 for the Mousepad – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$79.99 for the Messenger Bag – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$24.99 for the iPhone case – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$79.99 for the Mouse – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup
$139.99 for the Keyboard – Collector Assault Rifle unlock DLC/Powerup”

– Stewart Loosemore, Platform Nation

[Platform Nation]