This has officially gone too far. Angry Birds the iPhone app? Great. It’s fun, it’s kind of addicting, it’s everything you could want in a simple game. The plush toys? Alright, sure. I guess the characters are kind of cute so I can follow where the merchandising of that would come in. The board game? Ok, you’re losing me here. Why would you play a cardboard version of a digital game? As an attraction in a Chinese theme park? Yeah, it’s stupid but those cultures get obsessed with weird things. I’m not here to judge. But I will NOT have my non-existent children playing on Angry Birds playgrounds. No way. You back off, Rovio. I’m trying to raise my children not to murder pigs with birds.

That’s right. Rovio is rolling out Angry Birds-themed playground equipment. They’re calling it “Angry Birds Magic Places” and they have a global distribution deal. In a statement about the new project, marketing chief Pete Vesterbacka stated, “We will be developing a service which brings together the digital world and the physical world in a way that’s never been seen before. The popularity of Angry Birds isn’t restricted to any age, sex or social group, and the activity parks too will be designed to be interesting places for absolutely everyone, all around the world.” I don’t think I’m reading between the lines here when I say Rovio wants to take over the world.